Round Three of the Atlanta AlleyCat Series
3.26.10
Twenty Five of Atlanta’s best AlleyCat racers took to the streets Friday night for the highly anticipated Strip Cat. Laura Colbert devised a stimulating and fun race. As quickly as the manifests were handed to the anxious competitors, it was “GO” time. For the most part, everyone scrambled off without really spending a whole lot of time figuring out the best route. Each of the eight check points just so happened to be adult entertainment establishments. Some represent classic Atlanta landmarks, such as The Clermont Lounge; others not so much. The chain on Angel Luis Poventud’s bike broke in less time than it takes for Blondie to crush a beer can with her breasts. Angel got over the disappointment by pulling off his clothes and drinking a beer. Meanwhile, all riders still on course received funny sharpie markings of penises and breasts on their faces and hands. Riding with a condom pulled on his handlebar, Nathan Bollster flew to the finish in about the same time as a lap dance at Magic City. The finish coincidentally happened to be at Bollster’s totally dope photo studio on Dekalb Ave. Some ten minutes later, Brian Tester and Mike Woz rolled in. Riding a fixed/no brakes bike, Tester said, “Woz is my mobile GPS Navigation System,” adding, “We made a couple of minor boo boos, but this was an extremely cool AlleyCat.” “I liked the fact that they didn’t give us time beforehand to figure out the route; that helped me,” said Woz, adding, “I don’t think we could have gone that much quicker.” Reverend Phil rolled in fourth. Atlanta AlleyCat Series Co-Leaders, Rob “The Rocket” Evans of Team Dreadnok and Faster Mustache’s “Kan de Man” Dan McCauley formed an alliance along with Jason Spruill. The trio had problems finding Club Goosebumps and lost time. They rolled in, tied for fifth. The Arrington Bros. Ben and Robert, and Andrew Mullen rounded out the top ten. GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS. ALL NUDE LIVE! Making the trip from Athens with several of her friends, Erin Sanders of Loose Nuts was the first woman finisher. “It was awesome - I had fun!” said Sanders. The second and third women were Roxanne Likos and Courtney Rodgers. All three rode fixed. No shows, Team Prude’s Stewart Haddock, Jason Atwood, and Justin Barber heard riders would be dropping trow, so they made other plans, rather than risk embarrassment. They were missed. So, in conclusion, everyone wanted to know how the hell Bollster was able to whip up on everyone by such a large margin. “Let’s just say I have a certain intimate knowledge of specific gentleman’s locations,” Bollster said with a grin.
Round Four of The Atlanta AlleyCat Series is Matthew Reeves’ brainchild, The April Fools AlleyCat on 4.3.10 in Woodruff Park.
Please come show your support, as it is a benefit fundraiser for The North American Courier Championships. See Ya There.
“Kan de Man” Dan
